27 November, 2006

coming soon to an hmv discount bin near you

I presume you can all guess how I feel about this travesty.

My, doesn't Lavina (just to Damien's left) look thrilled for him!

I'm so looking forward to an album of karaoke favourites, performed by a man with no stage presence or charisma, in an uncertain, occasionally-off-key falsetto.

For everyone's benefit, I shall withold further vitriol, and simply say that if Damien Leith's career lasts longer than a few months, I shall be
extremely surprised.

As Snaz wrote in a text to me shortly after the proceedings concluded:

p.s. Someone in my building has been playing (I assume) a VHS tape of Jessica's performance of "When You Believe" from last night, over and over again, all day. Needless to say, it's getting a little tiresome, although I suppose I should thank my lucky stars it's not Damien's "Nissan Dorma" [sic].

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22 November, 2006

sinking vs swimming

So Ian Thorpe has officially "discontinued" his competitive swimming career.

Frankly I say good for him. It's something he started doing when he was fourteen, for God's sake. When I was fourteen, I wanted to study medicine. Medicine! I would think there are very few people who have the same ambitions when they're in their young teens, as they do in their twenties and beyond.

Thorpe was a teenage freak-of-nature with flippers for feet, who conquered the world in his chosen field at a very young age; yay for him. Does that mean he should be expected to continue in that field, even after his passion for it has died? Of course not.

I'm in no position to know, but he has always seemed to me an intelligent, articulate and driven young man, albeit often impatient with the media spotlight and public expectation. I'm sure he'll excel at whatever endeavour his passion now leads him into.

And in my inconsequential opinion, if he has quit sport to spend more time having poo-sex with a Brazilian water-polo player
- as some have suggested - then good luck to him. What the poor lad chooses to do with his life - let alone his dick - is not our business (tantalising though the imagery may be).


Meanwhile, the swiftness with which the Kim Beasley celebrity-identity fuck-up gags have circulated, merely highlights what an utter joke the man is in the eyes of the nation.

Get him out of there, and let's get some legitimate political opposition happening in this country for a change! (The rumoured Rudd-Gillard ticket may not be perfect, but it would get my vote.)

Over and out.


heal the world

This is fun!

Make your own puzzle here.

[Found at Gazza's place.]


20 November, 2006

how can you tell when a real estate agent is lying?

Apparently the following is an apt description of my current abode:
This bright first floor apartment is set back from the street in a well maintained building that enjoys the important natural advantage of immediate proximity to beautiful Barkly Gardens. Security entrance protects privacy of appealing spaces including sunny, north-facing living/dining areas which incorporate an efficient open-plan kitchen. To the rear, a large double bedroom with walk-in robes and en suite ensures excellent accommodation and completes the perfect investment or smart start up property in an excellent location. Off street parking.
Jesus, they make it sound like a freakin' penthouse.

Also, it is quite a strange feeling to come across a picture of your living room (that you didn't take) on the intermanet:

...especially when they have oddly stretched the photo to make it look narrower and taller (Why?). Oh well, at least it looks tidy.

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17 November, 2006

if my readers will kindly forgive a brief emo moment...

Dear World,
If you want to see me cry and/or vomit, you are going the right way about it.

I honestly don't think I've felt this stressed out since I was at high-school. Of course, at various times over the years I've been more depressed, more distraught, more devastated and more hopelessly in denial than I am now. But for sheer frazzled don't-know-what-to-do-with-myself stressed-out-ness, I think this takes the cake.

Of course, I'm just being a big whinger. What I'm dealing with now is nothing in the grand scheme of things. It's just that I am absolutely hopeless when it comes to dealing with change, particularly change with an uncertain final destinaton. And I am even worse at
instigating that change... but apparently I am a grown up now, and have to learn to do such things.

I'm not doing myself any favours either. I'm not eating or sleeping particularly well, which is stupid. I don't want to turn into one of those people who spends so much time stressing about everything, that I never get anything done. I'm supposed to be an extremely laid-back person! Where did that go?

*deep breaths, calm blue ocean, etc*

This will all be okay. As Byron reminds me: when I look back on this time in a year, I'll wonder why I was ever so worried.

From another perspective... if memory serves, it's always been when I've felt under heaps of pressure that I've functioned at my most productive. So maybe this frenetic time will serve as a kick-up-the-arse and boost me into a more productive, less passive life. Silver lining, and all that.

But for now, I'm freaking out juuust a leeetle.


15 November, 2006

shameless meme thief strikes again

What a crap day!

Let's make ourselves feel better with a big fat meme, shall we?


1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
How can I have just slept all night, and yet still feel so tired?

2. Favourite planet?
I shall choose Jupiter, as I have fond memories of identifying its four largest moons through a telescope.

3. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
An annoying man from my work who tried to ring me at 8am while I was on holiday in Queensland.

4. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
Currently my phone plays an MP3 of The Muppet Show closing theme, which never fails to make me smile.

5. Do you “label” yourself?
I think everyone would like not to, but everyone does. It's hard to have an identity without some degree of labelling.

6. What does your watch look like?
I haven't worn or owned a watch since about Year Ten.

7. What were you doing at midnight last night?

8. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
*pauses world, washes brain, kisses you, un-pauses world* I love you.

9. What's a word that you say a lot?
While holidaying with my young sister, I did my best to refrain from swearing; since my return I have been saying "fuckers!" and "cunts!" as frequently as possible.

10. Last furry thing you touched?
There is a dearth of furry things in my life.

11. Favorite age you have been so far?
Jesus, I don't know. Stop making me feel old. 17 was pretty good, from memory. (I hope 27 will be spectacular.)

12. Your worst enemy?
My own self-doubt and lack of motivation.

13. What is your current desktop picture?

because I miss him.

14. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"See you tomorrow," as I left work.

15. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
Watch me soar! Zooooom!

16. Do you like someone?
Such an odd question. I like many people.

17. The last song you listened to?
Bob Dylan's "Don't Think Twice, It's Alright"

18. What time of day were you born?

19. What's your favourite number?
I am extremely superstitious about numbers. 7 is the best and 4 is pure evil.

20. Where did you live in 1987?
On James Cook Drive in Endeavour Hills, in what was then among the more distant reaches of Melbourne's South-Eastern suburbs.

21. Are you jealous of anyone?
I try not to be.

22. Is anyone jealous of you?
I have no idea. I can't really imagine it.

23. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
Reading The Lord Of The Rings under an enormous tree in a beautiful National Park near the Ring Of Kerry in Ireland, while Snaz photographed a rare red squirrel nearby.

24. Do you consider yourself kind?
I would like to think I am, although too often I get wrapped up in my own goings-on and become thoughtless.

25. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
I can't imagine I ever would get a tattoo, but I suppose it would be somewhere that isn't likely to stretch and sag too horrifically as I age
perhaps the shoulder-blade.

26. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
I guess I shall be practical and choose to improve my shabby French.

27. Would you move for the person you loved?
I don't think I could at this point in my life, but it's certainly not something I'd rule out in the future.

28. What's your life motto?
On the Gold Coast, I saw a hippie craft shop with a Thought-for-the-Day sign: "When one must, one can." Recently, I have been optimistically repeating this to myself.

29. What's your favourite town/city?
Apart from my home city of Melbourne, others include Marseille, Edinburgh, Český Krumlov (although I recently heard the heart-breaking news that it has become exceedingly touristy), and a small too-seldom-visited town in the Victorian Highlands named Jamieson.

30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
The 2nd of October.

31. Can you change the oil on a car?
No. I can check it and top it up, but that's all.

32. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
Actually we were talking about my first crush just recently. I don't think there was any news as such, just the usual lamentations that studying architecture seems to turn all men into arseholes.

33. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
Not very far at all. Only this year I found out for the first time that my mother's side of the family - the Millers - were still the Müllers as recently as WWI. To my shame, I couldn't confidently name a single ancestor more distant than my Grandparents.

34. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
How fancy is fancy? The last time I wore my shirt tucked in all the way was probably my Grandma's funeral in April. The last time I wore a tie was probably at the Yarra Glen races last November.

35. Have you been burned by love?
Hasn't everybody?

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14 November, 2006

aaand... i'm back.

Well, hello there!

My brain is rather comprehensively fried after a lovely but very busy weekend, which I may or may not blog in more detail in the near future (Hint: It involved Byron! And Real Estate agents! And learning to cha-cha while singing in a Mexican accent!).

Previous to that, I was on holiday with patermunkey and Ms Cait on the Gold Coast - which I may or may not blog about in more detail in the near future (Hint: It involved mountains of seafood! And getting Wet and/or Wild! And discovering that I fucken
love really fast, really scary theme-park rides!).

For now, let me use one of my favourite TV shows to compare my overall impressions of the locals in various Australian metropoli I have experienced:

Melbourne =
Sydney =
The Gold Coast =
Of course, there is a lot of overlap of these stereotypes between the different locales, but I feel these pictures represent a good rule-of-thumb.

Class dismissed.