if my readers will kindly forgive a brief emo moment...

Dear World,
If you want to see me cry and/or vomit, you are going the right way about it.
Sincerely,
mm


I honestly don't think I've felt this stressed out since I was at high-school. Of course, at various times over the years I've been more depressed, more distraught, more devastated and more hopelessly in denial than I am now. But for sheer frazzled don't-know-what-to-do-with-myself stressed-out-ness, I think this takes the cake.

Of course, I'm just being a big whinger. What I'm dealing with now is nothing in the grand scheme of things. It's just that I am absolutely hopeless when it comes to dealing with change, particularly change with an uncertain final destinaton. And I am even worse at instigating that change... but apparently I am a grown up now, and have to learn to do such things.

I'm not doing myself any favours either. I'm not eating or sleeping particularly well, which is stupid. I don't want to turn into one of those people who spends so much time stressing about everything, that I never get anything done. I'm supposed to be an extremely laid-back person! Where did that go?

*deep breaths, calm blue ocean, etc*

This will all be okay. As Byron reminds me: when I look back on this time in a year, I'll wonder why I was ever so worried.

From another perspective... if memory serves, it's always been when I've felt under heaps of pressure that I've functioned at my most productive. So maybe this frenetic time will serve as a kick-up-the-arse and boost me into a more productive, less passive life. Silver lining, and all that.

But for now, I'm freaking out juuust a leeetle.