30 May, 2008

on the other side...

...the Queen kept crying 'Faster! Faster!' but Alice felt she could not go faster, though she had no breath to say so...

The most curious part of the thing was, that the trees and the other things around them never changed their places at all: however fast they went, they never seemed to pass anything...

'Now! Now!' cried the Queen. 'Faster! Faster!' And they went so fast that at last they seemed to skim through the air, hardly touching the ground with their feet...

Alice looked around her in great surprise. 'Why, I do believe we've been under this tree the whole time! Everything's just as it was!'

'Of course it is,' said the Queen. 'What would you have it?'

'Well, in
our country,' said Alice, still panting a little, 'you'd generally get somewhere else - if you ran very fast for a long time as we've been doing.'

'A slow sort of country!' said the Queen. 'Now,
here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!'
I knew this would be hard. And it's so fucking hard. I just have to keep reminding myself that this is good for me. And repeating a re-discovered mantra: When one must, one can. And hoping it's true.

I spent two days this week writing something that didn't even remotely come up to scratch. I'm spending this evening with a bottle of cheap wine, trying to put all thoughts of Erinsborough from my mind. Tomorrow, I shall regroup, before I spend my weekend re-writing.

So, how are you?