05 December, 2006

call that emo? i'll show you emo!

I have burst into tears twice in the last twelve hours.

The musical has entered the "I'm not good enough to play this part, I'm going to let everyone down and I hate myself" phase.

My Dad and sister are going to decorate the family Christmas tree without me, for the first time ever, because apparently they can't make time on the one day this fortnight that I'm free.

A potential job opportunity that I've been interested in for ages has just opened up again, but I honestly don't know if I can handle the stress of applying. Rejection or acceptance (leading to more chaos and another leap into unknown territory) might be more than I can face right now.

It's starting to seem like my boyfriend and I will never find a house; he will have to stay in Sydney forever, and I will simply be homeless.

The place I love most in the world is currently virtually surrounded by bushfires.

Hold me.



Several people have made me feel exponentially better in the little while since I posted the above rant. It is really lovely to have peeps to check in on you when you're feeling overwhelmed. Thanks so much.

As a postscript / disclaimer: Please don't take the above melodrama to mean I'm reaching for the razor blades or pouring myself a hearty mug of industrial bleach. I think ultimately I just needed a big vent and a bit of a sook, in order to unload some internal crap, before I could venture forth and tackle the obstacles before me... which is what I'm now planning to do (with a little help from my friends etc).

Thanks again. Much love.



Blogger lili said...


as someone who has had the pleasure of directing you in more than one show, munkey, believe me when i say you are a fabulous, talented individual, who deserves to live happily ever after more than anyone else i know.

and you have a 'watchable quality'.

*another hug*

December 05, 2006 11:08 am  

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