28 September, 2005

when the dead horse you've been flogging gets up and shits all over you


It is Over. Capital O. In fact, bugger it, let's put it all in capitals. It is OVER.

[noun, German]
~ a face that cries out for a fist in it.

Okay, I'll admit. That was childish.

But I'll tell you what else is childish:
leaving the country at 20 hours' notice when you can't afford it, running and hiding (neglecting to contact ANYONE who cares about you) when things go wrong, promising to work things out, then disappearing AGAIN.

And I'll tell you what is fucking DISGRACEFUL: receiving $200 of your boyfriend's father's money in order to buy tickets for a show for your boyfriend's sister's 10th Birthday present... but instead pocketing the money.

At this point, I have no idea where Mr Ryan Mac is. And, to be perfectly frank, I couldn't give a
rat's ass. He may just have the audacity to pop his head up again seeking sympathy. He will get none from me. I put myself out on an emotional limb to give him a second chance, and he's repaid me with utter betrayal, dishonesty and disrespect. I believe I have had the patience of a Saint through all of this. I believe that almost any other guy would have washed his hands and walked away long ago. I think I have been a VeryGoodBoyfriend™. But my understanding and patience have their limits. Those limits are now behind us. My boundaries are hard to break through. But - as anyone who knows me can testify - once they are breached, there is no going back. Ever. I can be a stubborn, bitter cunt when the situation calls for it.

So now for a fresh start. Here's cheers to better things to come. Here's hoping for a future with someone who DESERVES the love, respect and generosity I have to give. But for now, it's time to regroup and spend some time appreciating friends and family. To patermunkey and Ms Cait - who, as a result of my stupidity and gullibility, will now not be going to The Lion King for Ms Cait's birthday, my sincere apologies. To all those who have been patient with - and supportive of - my stupidity and gullibility over the last few weeks, my sincere thanks.

mindlessmunkey is henceforth a free agent.




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