23 September, 2005

mindlessmunkey's non-sabbath sermon of the week!

All hail the wise and powerful deity that is "Light Duties".

For those of you who may not be aware, I work in an office. This week, one of our field labourers was injured, and so he has been spending his days on "Light Duties", i.e. in the office avec moi. Which leaves me to find tasks which he is capable of doing.

Now I don't want to come across as too elitist. Contrary to snobby ditch-digger clich├ęs, many of our "Civil Engineers" (ditch-diggers) are highly intelligent. (Patermunky is one.) However, this specimen - let's call him Mr LightDuties - is dumb. Lovely guy. Heart of solid gold. Maybe even platinum. But Dumb As Dogshit.

So, struggling to find tasks that wouldn't be too taxing, I had him reference some Invoices. It's no-brain stuff. You have a pile of Invoices. You look up the Supplier in the Filing Cabinet and match the Invoice against the Delivery Docket. When you have a match, you stamp the Invoice. Sound straightforward? Here is a convesation I had with Mr LightDutes:

me ~ When you're looking for the delivery dockets, search from the back. They're filed chronologically, so the most recent ones will be towards the back.

he ~ Okay.

[after a few minutes, I notice he's still on the first invoice, yet to find a match]

me ~ You're searching from the front, aren't you.

he ~ Yes.

me ~ The ones at the front are six months old. Search from the back.

he ~ Oh, okay.

[a few more minutes]

me ~ Are you searching from the front?

he ~ Yes.

me ~ What date are you looking at?

he ~ Umm... April.

me ~ The invoice is from August.

he ~ I know. This is a pain in the ass.

me ~ Try searching from the back.

Another task I appointed for him was to sort some Invoices by month. Sounds like childs-play, right? Each Invoice has its date of issue printed on it, and is also stamped by me when I receive it in the mail. Another conversation:

me ~ Don't worry about the date I've stamped them wiith. Just sort them by the actual printed date. Put all the ones from August in this folder, and all the ones from September in that folder.

he ~ Okay.

[a few minutes pass]

he ~ I'm not sure what to do with this one. The printed date is August, but the stamp says September.

me ~ Don't worry about the date I've stamped them wiith. Just sort them by the actual printed date.

he ~ Oh, okay.

[a few minutes pass]

he ~ This one's confusing. It doesn't have a stamp on it at all.

me ~ Don't worry about the date I've stamped them wiith! Just sort them by the actual printed date!

he ~ OOOH! Okay.

me ~

Which brings me, at last, to this weeks sermon... which I have been muttering pathologically to myself all week:

Let us try and accept others for their shortcomings. Nobody is perfect. Everything is relative. And remember - even for the most intelligent of us - this kind of stupidity is just a short labotomy away. Everyone has their strengths. So be patient...

...and thank fucking Christ for the weekend!


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