14 February, 2005

happily ever after, albeit briefly

Gloomy, pretentious ramblings ...at the end of a very bad day:


Every now and then, something utterly improbable is completely perfect, for a brief period of breath-taking bliss. Every now and then, it seems like all things wrong in the Universe can be put right. Every now and then, it really could be happily-ever-after.

This isn't just a fairy-tale. I believe this. Every so often in life, for a tiny fragment of time, a trajectory of events lies before us which genuinely could lead to that oh so rare Hollywood ending. Unfortunately, there is always more than one path, and in matters of the heart, there is always more than one traveller on the journey.

It could be said I gave my heart too easily. It could be said I made myself too vulnerable, too readily. It could be said I should have held my cards closer to my chest, and not become attached to a mere dream. It is true: I gave my heart to something completely uncertain, and handed a large slice of my happiness over to one person, on faith. And tonight my eyes and mind are tired with weeping. But I say it is cowardice to lock yourself inside an iron tower, waiting for Prince Charming to rescue you. I say the strongest thing you can do, is show that you are weak. I say dreams are what make the real world worth living in.

The Wise will doubtless hand down their judgements. You are too inexperienced. He is too young. You are both too emotionally volatile. The geography of time and space consipred against you. It was doomed from the beginning.

But the facts are these: Two people found themsleves walking on the same path, that could have led anywhere. Anywhere. Even happily-ever-after. I believe this. At one juncture on his quest, the younger, more attractive of the two - the one with more future ahead of him, and doubtless more to lose by following the uncertain road - was faced with a choice. Emotions were the currency, and futures were at stake. The choice was made. Perhaps his new path leads somewhere far better. Perhaps these journeys will converge again, and the two will find themselves walking side-by-side once more. But either way, the happily-ever-after so briefly and beautifully glimpsed when they first came together, has vanished forever as the older, more weary traveller continues alone. Again.

In the eyes of The Wise, it is most likely foolhardy to shed tears for a future so precariously gazed-upon, however perfect the vision may have been. But munkeys are deep-minded, soft-hearted creatures, and to lose such promising possibility is to lose a whole life-time of irretrievable hopes. So - foolhardy or not - this munkey shall mourn accordingly.

You may be sitting high in the safety of your tower, laughing at me. I cannot hear you. I am here on the ground, walking the labyrinth.


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