16 February, 2006

guest blogger: mlle moodles!

It is now my unmitigated pleasure to introduce the first in what will hopefully be an irregular series of guest-spot blogs here at VotM.

Today, munkey steps away from the lectern to make way for my dear friend and some-time political advisor: the one and only Mademoiselle Moodles. Give her a big hand, lovers and dreamers.


Lately, whenever people ask me how I am I either burst into tears or grimace and start throwing my soap box around the room. Here are just three brief examples of why I’m finding it difficult to sleep at night:
  • Liberal MP, Danna Vale, claiming that Australians were “aborting themselves almost out of existence" and that Australia would be a Muslim nation in 50 years. The obvious solution of course if for white women everywhere to lie on their backs and conceive one, or many, for the country.
  • The US Government, after promoting democracy in Palestine, is now trying desperately to undo democracy in Palestine. The US government is claiming Hamas has no political legitimacy because while it did win a majority in parliament, it failed to win the popular vote in terms of actual ballots cast. Sound familiar? Just cast your mind back to Florida, 2000.
  • US Attorney General Alberto Gonzales’ eloquent justification for the US Government infringing on civil liberties and breaking the law by spying on the American people, and why the media should stop questioning their actions: "You would assume that the enemy is presuming that we are engaged in some kind of surveillance," he said. "But if they're not reminded about it all the time in newspapers and in stories, they sometimes forget." Brilliant!
Every day I’m confronted with yet more examples of the ineptitude and general lack of respect for humanity and human rights displayed by the illustrious leaders of the western world.

For anyone else who fears becoming a rabid madwoman who mutters to herself while normal people cross the street to avoid them, here’s what to do to ensure a good nights sleep:
  1. If you’re a woman, find a robust fertile man and start breeding. Start now and don’t stop. Don’t ever stop. If you’re a man, regardless of your sexual orientation, start spreading your seed.
  2. All civil, political, and human rights are highly overrated. They impede the ability of our leaders to do their job. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you will sleep through the night.
  3. Or you could just haul a year’s supply of vodka into a cave somewhere and drink yourself into a happy state of denial.


Thankyou, my dear. Personally, I'm thinking the vodka option is sounding quite peachy. Cheers!



Anonymous M.Bear Wabbit said...

M.Moodles - Lovely to hear your "voice" and what a fine "voice" it is too.

As a male I have been duitifully spreading my seed. I have impregnanted many towels and tissues, the occasional carpark at night not to mention the carpet at a few choice venues when "lucky".

Thank goodness for M.Vale if it wasn't for her we'd all simply forget to fuck...

The pollies have not yet considered that maybe the reason they get such obscene amounts of salary as due to the fact that their obscene profession employs a lot of grunts. Vote with our wallets, I say.

Vodka is a lovely idea. I prefer howeve not to lug mine myself. I have a "man" to do that for me.

How Nice!!!

February 17, 2006 8:03 am  

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