16 May, 2006

a list of grievances

I have had a lovely few days, where most things have been perfect... So it is far easier to remark on the things that have irked me. They are:

You know who you are. Yes you... With the pink hair... Who was a rude bitch to The Mistress and claimed my reservation didn't exist... Who argumentatively blamed your co-worker when you failed to bring our entrée... Who was generally snippy all night... Little Did You Know one of the people you were serving was the girlfriend of your manager! You have no idea who you're dealing with, bitch! Mwahahaha!
Lucky for you, your boss is such a delightful man , and he assures us you are usually better, and have pulled your finger out after a stern talking-to. I shall give you another chance before I call in my people to do bad things to your brake-lines.

2 - PEOPLE WHO TALK DURING CONCERTS (and sing in the quiet bits)
Riddle me this... Why would you pay good money to see a great band, only to stand there talking loudly throughout their entire performance? Even if you're not getting into it, the people on stage are pouring out their fucking souls for your listening pleasure, so the least you can do is shut your bloody mouth. Also, NEWSFLASH: there are other people in the world besides you and your drunken wanker friends. If you want to have a rowdy night out, go to a pub, not a concert. The rest of us, believe it or not, are trying to listen.
The only thing more annoying than the bunch of pretentious fucks who chatted and caroused through Augie March's entire set, was the way their blonde-poppet token-girl friend shouted with glee "Ohh it's MY song!" when Bottle Baby started (interesting, considering it seems to be a song about a love so soul-destroying that it drives the guy to alcoholism) and proceeded to LOUDLY sing the entire song out of tune and with the wrong lyrics, right in my ear. It's NOT your song, you cunt. It's Glenn Richards' song. Why don't you let HIM sing it? Now it's important to note that Bottle Baby is performed as a solo acoustic number - very quiet and soulful. It was completely ruined for me, thanks to this dumb skank. I'm all for a rowdy singalong in the rock-out numbers, but when it's a subdued, highly emotional and VERY QUIET song, you MAY NOT sing along at the top of your filthy fucking lungs, you cunt. Thankyou.

There are a certain group of siblings on a certain side of my family who show consistent disrespect and barely-veiled contempt for our 91-year-old Grandma Miller. Whoops I just told you which side of the family they're on. OH WELL...
My cousins have never forgiven Grandma Miller for giving shitty presents. And it's true. She has been known to very-obviously recycle presents and spend as litttle as possible. She is tight with money, it's a fact. It used to piss me off too... WHEN I WAS SIX.
Most people, when they become adults, realise that their elder relatives are not just there to ply them with presents at the relevant special occasions. Grandma Miller grew up in the depression. She has an ingrained mind-set of spending the bare minimum on everything - a mindset which remains to this day, even if it may no longer be necessary. This will never change, and guess what? Money/presents do not equal love. She has never shown anything but love for us grandkids, and always jumped at the chance of spending time with us. If only all her grandchildren showed the same enthusiasm, instead of openly treating it like a tiresome chore to be around her.
She is 91. Odds are, she won't be around too much longer, and then it'll be too late for them to love or appreciate her. They probably won't even care. But frankly I am ashamed of them when it comes to how they treat her.

Come back to me/us soon!


My belated birthday dinner with Canoe, The Mistress and Lili was lovely, although subdued due to us being Old and Tired.
Japanese food and Augie March was brilliant, especially in the company of The Mistress and Mr Pumpkin.
Sunday was a nice opportunity to spend time with family, although a bit sad for those of us who are Motherless.
Pizza and The NeverEnding Story with the gang - and RITA! Need I say more? Okay, I will: Jelly's jazz-ballet improvisation to Limahl's classic theme song. Gold.



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