11 January, 2006

a hunk a hunk of bleedin' love

I've always said Elvis was bad news.

We all knew he was a B-Grade crooner who made it big due to a manufactured image and some clever marketing. We all knew he was a gluttonous, womanising, drug-fiend whose over-indulgence in fried peanut-butter sandwiches caused him to drop dead from a massive coronary while trying to lay a turd at the age of 42.

But take heed, lovers and dreamers. The real reason Elvis is bad news is because his music is so awful that overexposure to it can actually result in homicidal behaviour.

A woman who allegedly stabbed her partner six times because he repeatedly played an Elvis Presley song will face a West Australian court today. Police will allege the woman stabbed her 35-year-old partner with a pair of scissors during an argument over him playing Burning Love over and over again.

Well, call me a sociopath (no, really, i kinda like it) but I for one can sympathise. It doesn't even take repeated listenings of The King to get me reaching for the nearest sharp object. I've been known to salivate wildly and start hurling cutlery in response to the mere opening bars of Love Me Tender. Then there was this one time when I was in the hardware section at Bunnings, and Hound Dog came on the radio. Not pretty.

Anyway, this woman should totally get aquitted. It's obviously a case of extreme provocation - possibly even self-defense. If my boyfriend refused to stop playing Elvis, I wouldn't cease my punishment until he was a bloody puddle in the carpet. Men of the world, take note.

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Blogger Alex said...

Hi from NYC! :)


January 13, 2006 10:01 am  
Blogger B.Wabbit said...

she sounds like a woman of taste (music not men) to me

January 19, 2006 3:38 pm  

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