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MindMunkey™

With the aid of a WEBSITE, I have decided this is what I would look like if I was a superhero. I don't think i'd be one of those hulking, muscly, beat-em-up, leap-tall-buildings-in-a-single-bound kind of heroes. So this, lovers and dreamers, is MindMunkey... defender of the free, offender of the powerful ~ friend to the downtrodden, foe to the opressor.

I have the power to not just read, but control the thoughts of my enemies (hence the hypnotic mind-waves emanating from my cranium). I also have a MagicMunkeyRing™ which protects me from brainwashing. It is my ultimate defense; remove it and I become an ignorant, mentally-pliable fool gathering all "facts" from the Herald Sun and tuning in every evening to let Ray Martin tell me what to think. But with my MunkeyRing, I am guaranteed the purity and individuality of my own unique mind.

And if all else fails, I have a nice solid gun™.

(Open auditions for CuteSidekickBoi™ will be held from 9am tomorrow. All applicants must provide their own costume; crotch-emphasising lycra is essential.)

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