04 August, 2006

yasmin's getting her soul sucked out by amoral tv producers in exchange for fame and "true love"!

Conservatives are always going on about preserving the "sanctity" of marriage. This is usually a thinly-veiled way of saying they don't want dirty poofs and hairy lezzies to be recognised as married couples. Apparently such recognition would in some way detract from the sacredness and importance of heterosexual marriage. Oh and of course it would also undermine the well-established and absolutely immutable rule that children can only be raised in a household with a loving man and woman as their parents. Otherwise they turn out depraved. Which means of course, in this day and age, most kids are depraved. Except me; I was raised by a loving, married, heterosexual couple. But I turned out gay. Something went awry there, I guess... maybe it's because I was raised by grubby Lefties.

Anyhoo, I'm awfully glad that the pollies have preserved the holy sanctity of the wedded state between a man and a woman. Because it's given Channel Ten the opportunity to create the program Yasmin's Getting Married - truly a most respectful celebration of the sacred institution of marriage. I can't imagine a better way of honouring the hallowed blessing of wedded bliss, than a desperate fame-whore spending nine weeks having her dearly-loving husband chosen for her by a live television audience!



And when Yasmin is joined in the consecrated rights of matrimony with whichever male fame-whore wins the competition to be her soul-mate, it will clearly be the perfect environment for bringing children into the world. The glitz and glamour of eligible suitors battling it out on national television for the right to marry someone they've known less than three months, is the perfect foundation for a wholesome family home. I hope Channel Ten does a follow-up special on Yasmin and her One True Love™ in five years, so we can see just what a healthy, happy, well-balanced-child-filled home they've created.

Thank heavens the conservatives preserved the sanctity of marriage from all those filthy unfit-parents/sexual-deviants!

EDIT: So Yasmin's reign of terror is already at an end. That was short-lived.

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6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Won't somebody think of the children??

I've never heard of this show but I can already see the continuation... "Yasmin's up the duff"; "Yasmin has five children to three fathers"; "Yasmin's going to rehab".

Poor girl.

August 04, 2006 4:44 pm  
Blogger Byron said...

I want to see Yasmin on at least nine times a week... and I want crossovers with Australian Idol.

I want "CSI: Yasmin's Labia"

I want "The Biggest Loser: Yasmin's Challenge"

I want to see how many times Ten will make Sandra Sultry plug Yasmin in the final weeks of the show.

I want to see Yasmin and Angela Bishop in a fight to the death.

I want a Yasmin's Getting Married t-shirt.

I want Yasmin to die.

August 04, 2006 8:24 pm  
Blogger Steph said...

Excellent post Munkey. I was too caught up with how gobsmackingly BAD this show was to even look at that angle. But you're right.
It's disgusting.

August 04, 2006 10:10 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Munkey,

As usual, your perfect prose, Wildean wit, and sacreligious sarcasm give me cause for joy. I giggled my way all the way through this post.

Don't misunderstand me, I do get your point, and I completely agree. But your ability to reduce the evil soulless bastards to the brainless psychos they are is just delightful.

Three cheers for Munkey!

;)

August 05, 2006 7:48 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You'll be glad to know that channel 10 has pulled the plug already.

Hooray for the never giving a show more than a week to attract viewers!

But yes, my (dirty lesbian) partner and i were quite aggravated when this show began. If only it were being taken off because of the hypocrisy.

August 07, 2006 11:36 am  
Blogger mindlessmunkey said...

Snaz ~ It truly is a wonder of modern science that you turned out so well-balanced. You are a lesson to us all in surviving against crippling odds. :p

Reth ~ That would have been something to look forward to, but since the show itself lasted less than a week on air, I doubt Ten will be rushing to revisit it.

Byron ~ And how do you feel now that Yasmin has been ripped from your life forever?

Steph ~ Well I guess the show's poor quality won out in the end, and viewers made their feelings known with their remote controls. I mean, I hear people were even watching Home & Away out of desperation... disgusting!

Hooch ~ Stop! I'm blushing!

Bec ~ I was actually a bit disappointed the show got ripped from the airwaves so swiftly. I was kind of hoping it would last a few more weeks, so more people could realise just how deeply offensive it was.

August 09, 2006 7:17 am  

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