11 May, 2007

the pot calling the kettle hack

So Spider-Man 3 has beaten Revenge Of The Sith's record of highest grossing weekend ever (or something). And George Lucas has responded in a typically mature and thoughtful manner: by bitching. Apparently, according to George, Spidey is "a silly movie ... There just isn't much there - once you take it all apart, there's not much story."

Now I haven't seen Spider-Man 3 yet, and I'm no huge fan of the franchise, but still I feel I must say: What the fuck?! Has Lucas ever actually sat through one of his own (recent) films? I defy anyone to give me a logical synopsis of what actually happens in Attack Of The Clones.

You may also recall that last year Lucas rejected Frank Darabont's screenplay for the fourth Indiana Jones film. Yes folks, George Lucas rejected a screenplay. Does anyone else find this absolutely absurd?

I would love to go back to 1990 and submit the screenplay for The Phantom Menace to a studio, with all the names changed (except the name 'Jar Jar Binks' - we'll leave that in). How do you think the studio would react to its structureless, clunky, melodramatic inanity, if it didn't have 'George Lucas' or 'Star Wars' written on it? I confidently suggest they would use it to line their rubbish bin.

In conclusion: Shut up, George Lucas.

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