they're big and they're salty

I was at my local bottle-shop the other day, when I spied something on the counter I just HAD to share with y'all:

CHOPPER'S NUTS - "they're BIG & they're SALTY"

I shit you not, lovers and dreamers. It seems everyone's favourite brutal-criminal turned media-whore will, indeed, put his name on anything at all (including my sometime-acquaintance Crazy-Harry's white patent-leather shoes... but that's another story).

From the back of the pack:
In his quest for a better beer experience Mark put the pressure on some of Australia's premier peanut producers to come up with a snack worthy of his love for Ale. Not surprisingly Mark ended up wioth some damn fine nuts, huge nuts with tasty flavours.

Now - not wanting to become accquainted with the inside of a cement mixer - I'm not going to be the one to tell him, but Chopper's nuts aren't actually that big. They are pretty much your standard-sized peanuts with some salt, chili-powder and seasoning. (Perhaps one of these poor pressured peanut producers pondered it prudent to play down the truthful average nut-size, for fear of bruising Chopper's ego (and ending up in a cement mixer).) No arguments about the salty claim though. That Chopper obviously likes his salt. To quote Fry: "That's the saltiest thing I've ever tasted! And I once ate a big heaping bag of salt!"

Still, worth a purchase for the novelty / cultural-chuckle value alone.

Oh and if you're hungry for more (and who wouldn't be?), Chopper's Nuts even have their own website sporting the wonderful catchphrase: "Don't be a knob. Eat Chopper's Nuts." Ahh, it makes me proud to be an Australian.